How Many Weeks?

In titling his book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, author Oliver Burkeman is referring to 76 years, the approximate length of life for human beings. Burkeman emphasizes how short our lives are, how many choices we have regarding how to spend our precious time, and our difficulties with using our time wisely. Numerous narratives and examples show the reader the conflicts that arise when people prioritize various aspects of work, such as struggling to empty one’s email inbox only to find that any temporary success is overpowered by a proliferation of email responses that tend to require vastly more time. Burkeman uses some humor to express his points, and he makes a lot of sense!

Another of Burkeman’s arguments focuses on where people focus, as in viewers of the Rosetta Stone at the British Museum in London focusing their phones and cameras on the exhibit at the expense of actually looking at the exhibit. Thus, the tourists trade their time during the in-person experience for creating the possibility of reviewing the experience later. This argument appears in various formats throughout the book, reminding the reader that there is often a trade-off between the “now” and the future, the photo opportunity and the experience.

Burkeman explores and quotes numerous philosophers throughout the book. At one point, writing about Parkinson’s Law, that “…work expands to fill the time available for its completion,” Burkeman says “…it’s the definition of ‘what needs doing’ that expands to fill the time available.” On the Paradox of Limitation, he warns that the more you try to control your time, the more stressful, empty, and frustrating your life can get! His recommendation is that, in life, the best thing to try to do is to accept the finitude of life and your limitations and accept the way things really are. In his chapter on finitude, Burkeman defines it as facing the fact that work proliferates, and you can’t do it all. He suggests surrendering and acknowledging what you give up instead of trying to do more.

Our discussion was lively! Patricia said the book had good advice as to how to cope with your time pressures. She gave a copy to her son for Father’s Day! Dennis said that he was considering giving a copy of the book to his son-in-law, who works long hours and might be considered a workaholic. Cindy said her daughter complains about work calls bothering her during her time off. Joyce said she gets work-related calls even though she shouldn’t. She indicated that the unsolicited calls can make her feel important, but that setting boundaries is important.

Some comments highlighted the wisdom that we bring to our discussions. As to when to continue reading a book to the finish and when to quit reading a book and use your time for something else, Dennis and Carla both said they stop reading books that make them feel bogged down. Patricia suggested this is a way of eliminating what isn’t worth your time and helping you to use your time well. Cindy noted that we have to make choices. She brought up the Cheshire Cat statement from Alice in Wonderland, which I had noted in researching about 4000 Weeks while preparing to present the book at our discussion: “If you don’t know where you’re going, it doesn’t matter which road you take.” Flo said that if she becomes impatient with something, such as an unassembled purchase, she gets help. Thus, we learn as we get older and wiser.

This Space Reserved for Blog Post about Discussion of The Scandalous Hamiltons

Questions We're Pondering for Our May 19th Discussion of The Scandalous Hamiltons, by Bill Shaffer

       1.      When the Hamilton story emerged, it commanded unprecedented, international newspaper coverage, thanks to the telegraph and the recently founded Associated Press.  How did the information technology of the time affect the development of the case? 

2.    Do you think that the case would have developed differently in modern times?  If so, then how so?

3.    The Scandalous Hamiltons includes court records of Robert Ray Hamilton and his involvement with Eva Steele, a grifter who set her sights on his money and stood trial for stabbing their baby nurse.  How does the public nature of celebrity court cases that receive extensive publicity make them different from non-celebrity cases?

4.   The story of the Hamilton scandal swept through the nation and became one of the biggest sensations of the Gilded Age, with its captivating story of bribery, sex, and violence.  Does this story remind you of any modern-day scandals?  If so, how do they compare?

5.     As lurid details emerged from the Hamilton scandal and spread through the sensational newspapers, the public’s fascination grew.  What about this and similar celebrity scandals so intently captures the imagination of readers?

6.     Is it escapism or something more?

7.     Themes of ambition, greed, and obsession are prevalent throughout The Scandalous Hamiltons through the actions of Eva Steele, who was willing to do whatever it took to obtain a fortune.  How does the desire for fortune influence an individual’s actions?

8.     Are there any lessons we can learn from Eva’s story?

9.     Shaffer weaves together multiple stories that go beyond the pages of newspapers and court documents.  How are Robert Ray Hamilton and Eva Steele humanized throughout his account?

10  Given the legacy of the Hamilton family name, what role, if any, did that legacy play in Ray’s decision-making process?

 11. Do you see any similarities of this Hamilton scandal and the one with Alexander Hamilton when he was blackmailed by the husband of Maria Reynolds with whom he had an affair?     

Discussing Mad Honey Triggers a Gamut of Concerns

In April 2025, we discussed Mad Honey, by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan. By the time my computer was set up, there was some discussion about “mad honey,” the substance that is in some honeys, when the bees tap rhododendrons. The “mad honey” is psychedelic and can be dangerous. We established this curious fact and then started answering the questions Patricia had chosen for us.

It's interesting how all sorts of historical and political topics find their way into our discussions! Women’s Rights had a role in this discussion. Lydia said she felt glad that Olivia was able to make a living taking over her father’s beekeeping business, after leaving her financially successful but abusive husband and moving to the small town of the story, where she had grown up. Talking about Olivia leaving her husband, Flo said that financial solutions are an important part of life for a woman who leaves an abusive husband. Someone said that in the time of the story, men generally had all the financial power in the family. Someone told about a woman in a similar situation to Olivia’s who went to the bank and didn’t have any idea how to get money. I think it was Kurt who said that it wasn’t until the 1970s that a woman could get her own credit card. Someone said that in 1972 a woman had to have a man in her family sign for her to get a credit card. Kurt said that women probably accepted this as part of life. Flo said that with a New York City teaching license (in the early 1970s), she was allowed to get a credit card, though her husband had the right to close it, if he wanted to. Joyce said that women who had the kind of problem Olivia had probably tended to feel that they had made a big mistake by getting involved with an abusive man.

Some of us said society was set up with the men in charge. Joyce said that probably some women were more dependent on male partners than others were. I couldn’t help mentioning that current political winds are blowing away from women’s rights, and there is fear that some politicians are leaning toward a reversal of women’s rights that would result in women losing such rights as financial independence and property ownership. This is foreshadowed by the current push among some politicians for voting registration requiring your name to be listed as your maiden name, as it appeared on your birth certificate, even though women have been using their married names on most identification for many years. Marcia brought in the phrase “barefoot and pregnant,” which does bring some atmosphere to the situation.

Another question we found interesting asked how you felt when you read that Lily was a transgender girl. Lydia said the trans part helped the story line. Someone, maybe Patricia in introducing the question, said that she found it interesting to learn what it might be like for a trans person and what they might be going through, i.e., things most of us would never think of. Apparently, there are a number of children growing up trans, by their own declaration and preference. Someone mentioned that there’s a movement, begun in the 1970s, of kids wanting to identify as animals. The movement is called “furry fandom,” and the “furries” wear costumes, called fursuits, and at gatherings, they represent their fursonas. Some of us thought that was “cute,” and then Joyce said, “Cute, until your child is eating off the floor.” Patricia said that her daughter used to favor horses and wanted to be a horse as a child, and that as she matured, her love of horses was normal and lasted into her adulthood.

Further discussion of trans people meandered into sports and whether trans students should be allowed to play on teams in their preferred gender. Flo reminded us that trans people are a small minority and so don’t merit as large an amount of attention as they are getting in our society. The concept is interesting to people, and, as Marcia said, “It makes good media!” Transgender and cross-dressing people have been around for a long time. Kurt mentioned that they have been around as long as humans have been. I said I could understand why people are concerned about trans people’s potential competitive advantage in sports, because of their hormonal makeup, but young people on trans hormone therapy would have less of their natural hormones balanced with more of their chosen gender’s hormones. So, there’s an ignorance factor in the prejudice against trans people. Joyce said that there is a thin line between the number of newly trans kids and kids just normally dealing with their identities as they go through adolescence. Joyce also drew a parallel between the rise in trans kids and the rise in eating disorders. Lydia reminded us that the teenage years are for “exploring who you are.” She likened the current concerns of adolescents about being trans to concerns about being gay among previous generations of adolescents.

We had a lively and interesting discussion of the book as well as of current topics of conversation and concerns of society.

Disclaimer: I apologize for being unable to determine from a phone recording who made some of the specific comments I mentioned in this blog post. If any of the comments I attributed to “someone” were yours, please email me, and I’ll correct the blog.

Nominating - Presenting Guidelines - Fall 2025

Fall 2025 Book Nomination/Presentation Guidelines

Submit a book title and author (and any other important identifying information). You can send it in a reply to this message about the nomination process.

A book likely to stimulate a good discussion.

A book you would like to present to the group and lead a discussion about.

For our vote, please include a short description, your reasons for choosing your book, and any reasons why someone should vote to discuss that book!

I have lists of "Books Read" and "Nominated Not Chosen.” Any books we haven't read in 5 or more years might be of interest, and any on the "not chosen" list are good choices. Please let me know if you wish me to email one or both lists to you.

Please check on digital availability, Barnes & Noble, etc, for the book, and list availability and prices, if it’s simple. Steer away from books that are available in hardcover only and that might be expensive. "Trade paperbacks" are usually priced right.

Preparing to Lead the Discussion, If Your Book is Chosen

Please plan to present some biographical information about the author and/or other information about the book.

Please prepare an email message telling everyone how to prepare to discuss your book. You can list questions, ask everyone to bring “show and tell” items, give links to specific videos or other online web pages, include a poem, or anything you think will add to the discussion. Send the message to rrnnbookclub@gmail.com 2 weeks or more in advance of the meeting you will lead. I will forward your email to the group, using blind copies. No photos or pdfs without a link everyone can access, please.

For the discussion, you can bring extra questions that you didn’t send out in advance, if you want to. You can plan a structured or unstructured discussion. You can lead the group in a game, bring things to show, ask readers to bring things to show, bring pictures to show, play a song, sing, dance… Anything goes!

If you can arrange for the author to meet with us over Zoom, we can do that; I’ll be glad to help, if you connect with a willing author.

If you are unable to attend the meeting, please ask someone in the group to help. As far in advance as possible is best, but everyone understands emergencies. I have email addresses and phone numbers for the members and will help you get in touch. Please give your substitute leader whatever information you have gathered and plans you have prepared for the discussion.

Thanks for participating in the nominating process!

 

This space reserved for the post from the March 2025 book Discussion of Garlic & Sapphires, by Ruth Reichl

We Get a Feel for What it Takes to Complete the Camino De Santiago

The Camino De Santiago is an 800-kilometer, almost 500-mile walk in Spain that has been considered to be a “Pilgrimage” since pre-Christian times. In his book, The Way, My Way: A Camino Memoir, Bill Bennett wrote about his personal walking journey along the entire Camino. Bennett was an independent filmmaker who had some successful films. He made a film starring Martin Sheen about his Camino adventures, but generally the book is considered better.

Thanks to Lydia, who has friends who have walked the Camino, for presenting this book to us! One of the first questions we discussed was whether we liked the author from his book and whether we’d like to spend time with him. Joyce described the author as introspective. He had a strong opinion that pilgrims should walk the Camino if possible and shouldn’t take buses or taxis. About that, Joyce quipped, “Misery loves company!” It was interesting that the author met the couple with the beautiful wife and encountered them many times, with the wife asking him whether he had taken a taxi or bus every time they met!

We talked about Bennett’s obsession with returning the towel to Laszlo. I said he was very grateful for the towel and had used it for important needs, and that he also wanted to see Laszlo after he had finished the walk, to show that he had been successful. Self-satisfaction can certainly be enhanced by sharing a success with others who would relate to its value. Susan thought the towel represented the help Bennett received during the trip. Bennett became more helpful to others as the trip progressed and felt good about that, so the towel might have represented some of Bennett’s personal growth to him.

Another question we discussed was how Bennett became pain-free after suffering a lot of pain and blistering, and how he also found his eyesight remarkably improved. Bennett learned a lot during the trip, including how to take care of himself, navigate the dynamics of the days using his intuition (as he called it, his “GPS”) to help him make decisions, and ways to interact with other pilgrims. His final chapter was a sort of “laundry list” of important things he learned. He began that list with an entry about gratitude that included being thankful when he had clean laundry! Marcia diagnosed Bennett a little, suggesting that he might have begun the walk in a prediabetic condition, and the exercise, weight reduction and sugar reduction could have been responsible for his leg recovery as well as his improved vision.

After reading the book, the reader can find information about Bennett’s blog, which was probably an important part of his journey. It seems that it was from Bennett’s blog that he wrote the book and the movie. After reading the book, it’s impressive to imagine Bennett finding time and energy to write detailed blog posts or even just notes about so many aspects of the long days on the Camino! He had walked many miles, felt a lot of pain or marveled and wondered at its absence, and stopped at mostly busy resting places, many of them with limited comforts beyond a bed to sleep on. With everything happening as he depicted it in his book, it is rather a wonder how he recorded the details that he published in the book!