We Find an Imperfect But Improved Solution to the Problem of Unwanted Pregnancy

Thanks to Marcia, we had an unusual discussion that was interesting, well-attended, and full of hope! We read Ejaculate Responsibly: A Whole New Way to Think About Abortion, by Gabrielle Blair. In this book, Blair presents what could be the best, safest, and most inspired solution to the abortion problem in the United States and anywhere else! In a nutshell: because men are fertile 24-7 from maturity throughout their lives, and whereas women are fertile for less than 1 day per month, society should be placing the responsibility for avoiding unwanted pregnancies on men rather than women.  Three men joined our discussion, and another sent a written statement explaining a slightly different point of view. Thanks to everyone who participated in discussing this sensitive topic, especially our 4 men!

Though we didn’t take a vote, I got the impression that most or all of us felt that this book’s potential solution to minimize unwanted pregnancies (and, therefore, abortions) was refreshing and simple! Many people already understand the facts mentioned in the book pertaining to the difficulties, time required, financial costs, and health risks women face when they take responsibility for birth control. These difficulties are inherent in women’s but not men’s biology. Men of many couples willingly assume the responsibility for preventing unwanted pregnancy. What is missing is a cultural commitment to these efforts and to men becoming aware and accepting of them from youth.

We presented a few disagreements with the information in the book, mostly with the strength of the guarantee against pregnancy that men could obtain via the suggested pregnancy-avoiding methods. “It takes two to tango,” was said during the discussion. The book did not ignore the statistical possibilities of pregnancy based on the methods advocated but showed that the methods minimize those possibilities. Of course, an unwanted pregnancy, even one that was carefully avoided, causes disruption in the pregnant mother’s life and often in the father’s life, too. Compared with the usual choices our society tends to offer to healthy couples, especially now that legal abortion has become a more rare, difficult, or unreachable choice; Ejaculate Responsibly offers important choices men can be fairly safe with, that would minimize the possibilities of surprise pregnancies.