July’s book discussion was very well-attended! Everyone
seemed to have enjoyed reading The Foundling, by Paul Joseph Fronczak, and
a lot of strong opinions were expressed. There was a lot of participation, giving
us yet another fascinating discussion! Once again, I was thankful for the
opportunity to discuss the book with our perceptive group! Pam brought 10 good
questions for us to focus on. I’ll tell you what was said about 2 of them here:
Question 2 asked why Paul didn’t tend to stick with pursuits or jobs or people during much of his life. Susan answered by referring to what
she learned from reading The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in
the Healing of Trauma, by Besser van der Kolk, MD. The book seems to
include important aspects of the most recent science on mental trauma, which
would certainly be relevant to Paul Fronczak’s experiences with likely being
dangled by the wrist and dropped, abandonment, changing families, and growing
up feeling different and uncomfortable in his family. Joyce Z added that if you
miss human warmth and being loved as a youngster, you are affected deeply by
the lack. She thought of the Foster parents who loved Paul and said it was
unfortunate for Paul that they couldn’t adopt him. Flo and I thought that Paul had
a genetically inherited tendency to move from one job or person to another, because
he had a close relative (his father?) who had been like that.
Question 5 asked why Paul’s birth parents abandoned him, and
which living relative was most important to him. Joyce Z. thought, and some of
us agreed, that Paul’s family killed his twin sister, whether by mistake or
because she seemed mentally ill and the family didn’t want to have to cope with
that. Susan said that the parents didn’t bond with the twins, because they
thought the twins were retarded; so, Paul was lucky to get away. Shirley suggested
that Paul’s birth mother had too many young children and got a little “batty”
and was willing to give Paul away. Joanne thought an uncle had probably dropped
Paul off for abandonment and never came forth to admit it. Pam reminded us that
Paul wanted most to find his twin and the real Paul Fronczak. Among the relatives
Paul found, Joanne felt that there were feelings of jealousy toward Paul,
because he seemed to have a better life than they did, so they didn’t want to
spend time with him. Joyce Z. added that Paul’s pressuring his newfound
relatives for more information might have caused them to avoid him.
We finished the 10 questions and had some more discussion. Joyce
Z. explained how important it can be for someone who wants to check on their
family background, (eg, to learn whether they are really a member of their
family), to use a DNA company that traces families via the male chromosomes.
Ken added that women change their names when they marry, but surnames following
males of the family tree are unlikely to change and can be traced back. Some of
us shared personal experiences with DNA tests. Cindy T. said some information
mentioned that some ancestors were slave traders; she said she thinks the DNA
companies make up some things to make family history seem more interesting for
customers. We also talked about DNA tests and personal information security,
which is a topic I am concerned about. There is currently a law that health
insurance companies can’t use DNA information to increase premiums for any
individuals; but there is no guarantee as to how long that law will be in
effect and whether or when insurers will begin finding ways around it. Cindy V.
expressed surprise that so many people worry about security on Facebook but
freely give their DNA away…they even pay to do it!
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