We discussed Dear Edward, by Ann Napolitano, over Zoom. We went through some of the questions quickly, doubling back sometimes. One question particularly got our attention. It was an all-angles-covered discussion. I noticed it during the actual discussion, but maybe that’s because I have an ear for Zoom and the recordings I sometimes use to compose a blog post. I decided to focus on this one discussion question. Here’s the best I could do to transcribe it, with a few edits to make it as readable as possible:
The question, (#15) was, “Do you think John and Lacey were right to keep all the letters
from Edward? How do you determine when someone is ready to bear such a
huge emotional weight?
Joanne:
I think they were right, and…
Interruption
by words of agreement and dissent.
Joanne:
I guess you have to wait until they reach the age of majority, when they’re 18.
I think they (John and Lacey, really just John for the rest of this discussion) were perfectly right!
Carol:
At 12 years, Edward was pretty young to deal with all those letters.
Pam:
Joyce, I want to know what you think.
Joyce:
I thought they maybe could do some filtering. It seems to me that in the
description, the letters weren’t opened, so John didn’t even know what they
said. I guess, if he was trying to protect Edward, he could have been looking
at the letters and maybe deciding that there were some that, in whatever way,
would be helpful for Edward to hear; something like a letter just telling him
that he was blessed and that the sender was happy he had survived or whatever, versus
the letters that put a burden of something to do on Edward.
Joanne:
Can you imagine having to read all of them? If John had to read all the
letters, that would have been very emotional for him. For anyone, really.
Carol:
I think John just kept them because he was going to deal with Edward later,
because he did keep them all. I think his intention was to give them to Edward
later, because Edward was too young.
Carla:
Yes!
Joyce:
Whether that was the right thing to do…I’m saying, I think there was a better
way to handle it, which was to decide which ones Edward may have been ready for.
If John was reading the letters to find some samples to show Edward; I think he’d
get that feedback; you know, if this was the kind of letter that I’ll share with
Edward because I think it will be helpful to him. If a letter didn’t work for Edward,
then John would have some information to make better decisions about handling
other ones. Though I understand there was an influx of mail at the beginning
that, understandably, tapered off over time, it seems to me that saving
hundreds of letters and stuffing them unsealed into a duffel bag with a padlock
was not really responding to the situation. Oh! Final point: a copout on John’s
part!
Carol:
I don’t know; I disagree!
Joanne:
We have to understand…I think John was going through a trauma himself!
Carol:
Of course!
Pam:
Well, with his wife.
Joanne:
Yes, and losing a baby and the whole situation!
Joyce:
And then, Joanne, that becomes a different question. Was John protecting himself,
or was he trying to protect Edward? We started with the idea that this was the
way he was trying to protect Edward. That’s different than if he was doing
something to protect himself.
Joanne:
I think you’re right but…
Carol:
I think he was trying to protect Edward, because he thought Edward was too young
to deal with it.
Joanne.
I don’t think John was very secure, either.
Carol:
You know, it’s against the law to open a letter that isn’t addressed to you.
Pam:
Carol, that’s what I thought. I thought John did not open the letters because
they were not addressed to him.
Carla:
Yes! He didn’t!
Joanne:
I never thought that!
Carol:
I did!
Shirl:
I wonder…if it’s an underaged child, doesn’t that change that rule?
Carla:
Yes! I do think that changes things. Edward was definitely underage, so I was
surprised that John didn’t even open the letters. There were some, especially
the ones that the children wrote, or the mother wrote, asking for Edward to
write to the children…
Carol:
But, if John didn’t open any of the letters, how would he know which ones were
those kinds of letters?
Joanne:
Exactly!
Carol:
He was saving all the letters for when Edward got older.
Carla:
Exactly! That’s exactly what he was doing!
Joyce:
There was the letter with a 7-million-dollar check in it.
Laughter
Carol:
That would have been gone!
Joyce:
I’m sorry; I’m perseverating on this. Just think; if you had in your possession
hundreds of letters. That you’d stuff them in a duffel bag and put them under
your bed! That’s not how you handle hundreds
of pieces of information!
Carla:
Well, we heard about the FedEx driver who dumped a truckload of stuff down a
hill, in Alabama or wherever it was.
Joanne:
What was John doing in the shed? Collecting a lot of information, but why?
Shirl:
Edward was in 7th grade, so I’d think his uncle could say something
to him, when he had reviewed some letters, like Joyce said, giving Edward the
option, “Do you want to hear what somebody said?”
Carol:
I still think John should not have been opening things that were not addressed
to him. I think he did the right thing.
Carla:
I open junk mail that’s addressed to both of us, all the time.
Carol:
But that’s your family, who you live with.
Joanne:
Wasn’t John part of the family?
Carla:
Exactly! It’s questionable, but …
Cindy:
If there had been a threatening letter…
Joanne:
Well what was John doing in the shed? Writing up information about every single
person on the flight? He was using a database.
Shirl:
You mean the uncle?
Joanne:
yes
Shirl:
The uncle was escaping to his shed.
Joanne:
In the shed, he had a lot of files. He had a lot about the individuals on the
flight, and all the data about the crash…
Joyce:
He was a mathematician. He couldn’t help himself!
Pam:
Things inside the house were less than good, so he was escaping out there. His
wife was pretty much a basket case.
Thanks
to Carol for this read and a focused batch of questions, and thanks to everyone
for the discussion I I didn't have to write any original words!
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